


100% of nothing

by katiebuttercup



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Fluff and Angst, Genderswap, Modern AU, Rule 63, broodyEnjolras
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-20
Updated: 2013-03-20
Packaged: 2017-12-05 22:18:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/728514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiebuttercup/pseuds/katiebuttercup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even goddesses have insecurities</p>
            </blockquote>





	100% of nothing

**Author's Note:**

> girlenjolras=Elena  
> girlgrantaire-Genevieve

Disclaimer: I own nothing

 

Elena turned the Ipad slightly away, keeping it's glow away from her bedmate. A part of her felt guilty at her inability to put her work down even at 1am in the morning and in the company of her lover. 

It had always been this way, it had seemed since the moment she had drawn breath she had found something to occupy her time, a cause, a meaning, an ideal. 

She worked for the good of all and she had been oftentimes praise by those around her for her selfless dedication, Elena had seen it simply as her duty. She had come into the world with every advantage, but she knew that was not the case for everyone, and so she strove to make right what was so obviously wrong in the world. 

But she was also selfish.

She glanced to her left, beside her Genevieve slept soundly, dark curls clustered around her head and shoulders as she slept, all innocence and beauty. It took Elena's breath away staring at her like this, so far removed from the loud, outspoken women who seemed to delight in undermining everything Elena hoped to achieve. 

It was at these times she was glad that she kept Genevieve at a distance, she hated Genevieve's constant cynicism, that biting wit and most of all the drinking.

It was part of the culture now, Elena supposed, to go out drinking every saturday night and nobody thought twice about drinking until they blacked out, Genevieve seemed to have this down to an art. Elena sometimes looked up statistics about attacks on young women when they were drunk and it made her blood run cold and it was those statistics that were in her head when she confronted Genevieve about her drinking, she knew she was cruel and unkind at those times but the image of Genevieve lying dead in the street or raped or attacked was like a noose around her throat gripping tighter and tighter until she couldn't breathe.

Genevieve seemed to have no concept of danger or fear for her life, and it frustrated her no end. 

Why couldn't Genevieve see her own potential, she was a great artist, prodigiously talented, and well liked by everyone but she seemed to want to drown herself in alcohol instead.

Elena knew it was partly her fault, she wasn't as blind as everyone seemed to think, or more accurately she had learned to see and she didn't like what she was confronted with.

Geneveive was in love with her.

It was such a simple phrase, invoking images of pink and white and handholding but Elena knew that Genevieve's love for her as full of pain. 

Because Elena caused her pain. 

Genevieve never said anything, but it was clear in the way her eyes lit up whenever Elena paid any attention to her, the way she came to every protest despite personally beliveing it was a waste of time, and more importantly the way her whole face crumbled for just one second when Elena brushed her off or called her out on her drinking. That second would stay with Elena for hours, she would toss and turn the image burned into her mind and she wondered how she could hurt someone when all she wanted to do was to make things better.

She couldn't give Genevieve what she wanted. She couldn't hold hands with her in the part, or go to art galleries or have romantic dinners. There was only a few hours that Elena could spare between working on her protests, scraps of time and scraps of her attention and Elena could feel her attention always being drawn away from Genevieve, and the dark haired girl knew it but never said a word. 

If she were truly as sefless as she proclaimed she would let Genevieve go; let her find someone who made time for her, who supported her. Who loved her. But she's not, she needs Genevieve in her own way, to keep her centered and whole even while Genevieve slowly breaks.

Elena heard a rustling, Genevieve was sitting up, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"What time is it?"

"Early," 

Genevieve's eyes fell on the Ipdad, "I should get going," she tried to say it casually but it fell heavily on Elena's shoulders.

"You don't have to," Elena protested, she put the Ipad on the night stand. 

"Nah, you get on with your work, I'll see you later." She watched as Geneveive began dressing, she felt a lump in her throat. She should say something else, words were crushing her windpipe. It was times like this that she felt less like the fiery revolutionsist that her friends saw but more like a little girl, only Genevieve could do that to her. It frightened her.

"Are you coming to the meeting later?" 

Its' not what she wanted to say but Elena can't articulate the desperate desire to keep Genevieve close, she can get back to work if she knows she will see Genevieve later on. 

"Whats the latest crusade?" Genevive asked as she pulled her jumper over her head, throwing her curls heedlessly over her shoulders.

Elena's mind struggles to focus on something other than Geneviev's long legs, still bare as she tires to find her jeans. 

"Uh....student loans," 

Genevieve pulls her jeans on, doing a lttle hop to get the material over her ass, Elena's mouth goes a little dry. If nothing else, Genevieve is beautiful and Elena is deeply attracted to her. 

"Why the hell not?" Genevieve says, "Just gimmie a copy of your speech so I can send it to my student loan sharks."

"If we win, you won't have to"

Genevive leans down and kisses Elena, a gesture of affection, "I love your optimisim Apollo," she murmures.

Elena frowns, she feels slightly uncomfortable. Genevieve had only admitted her love once, but Elena had asked her not to repeat it, and Genevieve consented, but now Elena was super aware of the word. 

"Good luck with the revolution planning," Genevieve said, moving to the door, she didn't say goodbye, she never did.

Elena opened her mouth, the urge to call Genevieve back was overwhelming, but she couldn't get the words at. She gave Genevieve everything she could.

 

But 100% of nothing 

Was still nothing


End file.
